Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Pa.....

Before anyone reads this, let me warn you that I had written this after gulping 2 bottles of beer...ha ha just kidding.
Pardon the writing...I know the sentences were not formed perfectly or there is no continuity but I wrote the whole thing from the heart and I am not going to edit this!!!!
I was watching this movie "Mere Baap Pehle Aap" today...it was a typical priyadarshan movie( except for the fact that this time, he did not have too many people running here and there like his earlier films THANKFULLY!!!!). Though I knew it was a remake of yet another South Indian movie,this movie took me to my days when I was happy with my family...My Parents!!! Its said that sons are more close to their mothers and I am no exception.
Everytime I call home, the first thing I used to say is "Where's Mom??" I never even thought that my dad or lil sis would have something to say. It was always mom. Its not that I had a strained relationship with dad...we were BINDAAS together..it was just that I used to give mom too much importance compared to dad.
But this movie forced me to think about all the moments I spent with dad. My childhood saw very little of him, given the nature of his job. But he had always seen to it that every whim of mine was fulfiled. He made me feel that I was born with a silver spoon. The first 12 years of my life were extravagant.
Then bad times struck when dad decided to enter the stock market and in the end, thanks to one Mr. Harshad Mehta, we lost everything. But kudos to dad. He never let this get to him. But the world saw him with a different view now. Everything he did was criticized in the worst possible way. I was sent to my uncles place in Chennai where I completed my 10th. Dad had never let this get to him. He got another job and within 3 years, got the family to a respectable position once again. But he did this with only my mom to support him. I was kept away from the entire problem and my lil sis waas just 3 years old then.
Anyways, focussing more on my relation with dad...unlike most father and sons who fought because of the generation gap, dad and I got along really well. Yes, we did have our share of heated arguments but dad was much more accomodating. In the end, I realized how right he was. We used to fight in the morning and then make up in the evening...(he used to get me my fav shoes or cd's everytime we fought :p)..Once I was really upset that he gave our driver more importance than me and made it a point to curb the drivers wings which I did and in style (this impressed dad too). We are a total mismatch..not a single characteristic is similar. Dad loves casuals...(and I love formals :D) Dad prefers bikes while I am always game when its a 4 wheeler and so on.....
I always had problems with every little habit of his...he was more carefree while i was a perfectionist!! I am a neatness freak while dad doesnt even care about it. I am totally into music while dad doesnt even know the M of music!!!!
Slowly, we became more of friends than father and son..and I started taking him for granted. It was always mom for me...it was like "Dad ka kya...dekha jaayega!!!"
This particular incident always brings a smile on my face. We shifted base to Coimbatore after dads retirement and I moved to Chennai to pursue my MCA. During a singing competition, I saw a girl (she was the comperer and I won the second prize for Tere Dar Par Sanam) and asked her out the very same day :-) Surprisingly she agreed. After dinner, we were walking by th ebeach when she asked me whether I smoke...I said No...Then she asked me whether I drink!!! I said no...She laughed saying Kaise mard ho??Main 2-3 peg gatak leti hoon!!!!That turned me off!!!I left for Coimbatore and was mulling over what she said when my dad noticed it...I am going to replicate the conversation with him at that point of time...
Dad: Dude (dad calls me that), what happened??Girl problem?
Me: Correct pa...you know this girl...she said this to me...(And told him the whole story)...
By the time I finished, dad rushed to his room and came out with 2 bottles of beer.......and said this
Dad: I was waiting for this moment...chal...aaj bete ke saath ek peg maar leta hoon!!!!(This is how I started drinking...gave it up pretty soon too :D)
How many of us could talk to our dad like this??Very few!!My maama is so strict that my cousin refuses to go home.... mom still doesnt know I used to drink :p...and dad instigated it!!!!
My girlfriends (girl - friends) used to come home to meet my dad thanks to his BINDAAS nature. He was a big hit among my friends and was always invited to our outings...pity he never joined us even once...;-)
When fathers day came, I sent him a big senti card (knowing he hates such stuff :D) and a watch. He called me back and said this...
Dad: Kameene....baap ko fathers day pe rulaayega kya??Now make up for this and send me a scotch!!!!..
Me: Dad, main kameena hoon to aap mere baap ho ;)...I need not say anything more :D
(This was the first thing I recollected after seeing the movie)
Looking back, I think of all the times when my dad didnt get the importance he deserved from me. Despite doing so much, he never said a word. Maybe it was his bindaas nature which didnt allow me to notice it. Or maybe he never bothered!!! When Mom had high BP, I was tensed. When dad had it, I joked telling him to quit smoking!!! He just smiled and said nothing. This seemed so natural but now I realise...deep down his heart, he does feel that his son does not give him the importance he deserves and today, I feel really guilty. To all the people out there reading this, its not too late. Do tell your dad what he is in your life. I am going to do that right away...I dont wanna spend the rest of my life regretting!!!
Anyways, I never said this to him till date.....I am proud to be his son in this lifetime and will always be.....Love you Dad!!!!!!
P.S.-On a lighter note, now I know why Abhishek Bachchan keeps eulogizing his DAD!!!!!:p

4 comments:

everything burns... said...

oki so there r like a lot of random thngs i hvta comment on so i'll do it in points.
1) its oki to nt hv a perfect sentence construction...its ur blog..not a clasic novel.
2) your dad is kinda cooler than you except for the "music" part...hw can sum1 nt enjoy music?? or did u mean that he didnt have much knowledge of it but still enjoyed it?
3)last year i had a paper in economics and i read a lot about the harshad mehta thing... u're the first victim i know and wow...must've been sad...the "wow" was for pulling thru it.. i respect ur mom for having supported ur dad thru such a time.
4)dude...where hv u been looking for girls??? wat kind of a person thinks that drinking nd smoking are th only thngs tht make a man?? smoking kills u n ppl arnd u...n drinking even in moderation totally ruins th taste for days...
5)everyone is closer to their mom as compared to their dad... several reasons...same effect... but i gess in their own way theu understand it coz they too as kids were closer to their moms than to their dads.... so dnt feel guilty... when u r a father... u'll prolly understand wat i mean...

Vivek said...

@everything burns

point 2:-Totally agree!!Dad is way cooler than me. :-)

point 4:- the girl was just making fun of me..she is one of my close friends today :D...You should have seen her face when I told her what happened..we were laughing on and on :)

point 5:- Yup, everyone is closer to their mom but I think dad also deserves the same importance. Yes, I will understand when I become a dad like my dad did but I am really guilty of ignoring him when he needed me.

Guhan said...

Vivek,just super - o - super

Guhan.
http://1in86400.wordpress.com/2008/08/03/the-green-batch/

Rajesh said...

It was a heart-felt post...this was something everybody cud relate to coz its about DAD...someone everyone looks up to...loved it... a perfect tribute and panegyric

Kudos!!! Ur dad shud b proud for wat u r today...hope he read it